i’ve put it on the back burner for far too long. i convince myself that i don’t need to face this demon, that i’m doing just fine and can live with “just getting by.” no more. i don’t want to just go through each day like a chore, i want to live not just survive. i need to figure myself out and learn to accept i will always be who i am and i am only wasting my life away wishing i were someone else. and letting my eating disorder stay with me is only holding me back from truly figuring out who i am and what its like to genuinely experience happiness. I just need to get through these next few weeks of school and then, with somehow much hesitation but motivation at the same time, i will be returning to the renfrew program to put my health first again.